More giggles from Grandma
I heard recently that you could measure a Church’s health by its laughter. I figured that I should at least do my part to help if I could. The best way I can do this is not by writing about God, but writing about Grandma. It’s not Grandma’s fault that she is funnier than God, but I know it is true because I can write something about God and get zero comments, but write about Grandma and get comments from complete strangers. Case in point would be a recent comment from Shannon (?). Shannon’s comments were: “I find you mom crazy.” Now just between us, I couldn’t really tell you what Shannon was saying. Did she think I was her Mom? Curse my bosom! Maybe Shannon is a judge and that is her official ruling. Who knows?
Shannon is right though, my Mom is kind of funny…in a funny kind of way. I notice her humor is…ummm….changing as she ages. When I was a kid, my Mom had her annual joke:
Me: What are you going to dress up as this year for Halloween Mom?
Mom: I’m just going to put a raisin in my belly button and go as a cookie.
Me:????
More recently, I would hear the same joke every time I was out somewhere with Grandma and we had just about arrived at our destination:
Mom: Knock Knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Mom: Justin.
Me: Justin who?
Both of us or everyone that may have been in the car: We made it Justin time.
That joke was particularly funny because I have a nephew named Justin
Nowadays, her jokes are getting a lot funnier. They may make sense to only her or not to her at all, but they are funnier. Here are a few recent examples:
-There was a guy that thought his wife was sleeping with someone so he went home at lunch to surprise her. They had a dog with only three legs that was sleeping. He pulled up quietly and had to step over his sleeping dog that lost his leg who was sleeping because he was so tired because he only had three legs. The man went upstairs and caught his wife with another man. He pulled out a gun and said, “I’m going to shoot you what is your name?” His wife answered Mary. He replied that he couldn’t shoot her because his Mother’s name was Mary so he asked the guy what his name was. “Mary” he said.
So I get the joke, I just have two questions that Grandma cannot answer: 1. Why would he have to ask his own wife her name? 2. What in the world did the three legged dog have to do with anything?!?!? Okay, how about this one:
-There was a man that told his wife, if you ever die before me, I’m going to remarry. She died and went to Heaven and the guy asked her, “In order to get in you have to spell Love.” Ten years later her husband died and she asked him how he had been since he died. “Great” he said, “I remarried right away and was very happy for ten years.” “Okay” his wife said, ” to get into Heaven you have to spell Czechoslovakia.”
Again, I get it, but this time Grandma has questions on her own joke: “Why did one of them have to spell love and the other one had to spend Czechoslovakia?”
Here is the most recent one, and my personal favorite. It, like its predecessor, is told when we are arriving at a destination:
Mom: Knock knock
Me: Who’s there?
Mom: Kirsten
The joke is over. Kirsten is my sister-in-law (Justin’s Mom). I hope your Church enjoys its new and improved health.
