Tweet Tweet said the guy about to be struck by lightning
So I think I was stupid enough in my last blog post to admit that lately I’ve been putting facebook before my time with God. Hmmm… coincidentally (I’m sure), lately my blackberry has been fighting my facebook application. I can almost hear the conversation taking place in Heaven:
Moses: Hey God, that fat guy is putting some 20th century technology idol before you. I say you smite him!
God: I could, but in between wolfing down the twinkies, he tries. I think I’ll just give him a second chance and mess with his technology instead.
Moses: Please don’t send me back in the desert for second guessing you, but are you sure??? This one seems particulary dense!
Genius back on earth: Hmmm… for the first time ever and right after I realized my facebook time was coming before my time with God, my phone won’t allow me to access my facebook. Well, I guess now I have more time to spend in prayer and…. wait a minute… now is the perfect time to get my Twitter account (blogbyfattom) going again. God, I’m a genius!
So as you can see, I need your prayers. Not for any of the above, actually not even for me, but I need you to start praying that my wife will find a good job. Yes we are hurting for money, but who isn’t? I really just need her to go back to work so I can blog more. I noticed, as I’m sure you have, my blogging has been cut immensely now that she has extra time to try to control me. It’s basically like what happened with me and my co-worker getting stuck on the elevator yesterday:
Co-worker: Hey, do you have to breathe so hard, who knows how long we’ll be stuck in here and you are sucking all the air out of here!
Me: Grrrr!
Co-worker: What are you doing? Why are you biting me?
Me (between bites): Survival!
Co-worker: But we’ve been stuck in here less than a minute!
That’s me and my wife. She is always trying to control me. If she sees me relaxing or having fun, she swoops in for the kill: “What are you doing hon?” If I answer honestly with, “blogging” or something like that she immediately hits me with something cruel like, “Okay, have fun.” So instead of answering honestly, I always have to pretend I am about to save the world: “What? Me? Oh I am just researching how I could possibly use my gas to block the oil spill which would also save all the cute baby seals that I didn’t harm with the tuna sandwich I had for lunch.”
So as you can see, I’ve got a real conundrum here. I need your help. Pray that my wife will find a good job and start bringing home the bacon so I can see how much more I can expand my girth. With her out of the way, I’ll be able to be really productive with all the stuff that really matters (ie. blogging, facebook, twitter, etc.). Since you are praying anyway, put in a good word for me with The Man Upstairs that he doesn’t smite me. I would do it myself, but @blogbyfattom has some tweets to twit…or something like that.
