This porker needs your prayers peeps. I have got my biggest dilemma since deciding which cheek to put my ALF tattoo on. Sure, some of you won’t take it seriously, but the wise among you will realize there is nothing light about it.
This is heavy stuff: literally. I am talking about my upcoming weight loss contest. If you have got an extra chin (or seven) and $25, you can join me in my conundrum. Here is the internal debate that probably won’t keep me up tonight: with the contest starting in a week and me already at maximum density, how do I spend the next week?
I could easily say enough is enough and start on my quest to see my goodies again immediately. OR I could stuff my face with Bon Bons while watching Oprah all day like I am .0001% sure all wives do. Sure the goodies option might allow me to add seconds to my life, but the Bon Bon option may give me even fuller bosom. What to do, what to do…
PS: if your dryer is also shrinking all of your duds all of a sudden and you want in, email me.
Fat Tom goes to Blogville 
So which cheek DID you choose? What’s the point of a butt tattoo with all that hair in the way?