Guess who is back

So it has been about 20 years since I took a philosophy course at my junior college, but I still remember the important stuff.  The first being that no matter what the question was, the professor always had the same response.  He would look at you through bloodshot eyes, scratch his beard 17 times, then say, “Hmmm… you think so, really?”  To which I always had the same answer, ” Yes, I know so!  I REALLY have to go to the bathroom!”  But besides my bearded nemesis, I enjoyed learning how the great thinkers of history would pose questions to teach. Socrates probably impressed me the most with his challenge of, “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?”

After over a year hiatus from this blog, this not so slim shady is back.  Why?  Probably because you didn’t forward that chain letter email  (even though they clearly warned you that bad things would happen to you).  Actually there are two reasons why I’m bringing sexy back, the first is because I’m tired of crying myself to sleep at night because I miss writing.  As for the second reason, well, I’ll blame it on the time of year.

For most normal people the beginning of a new year means resolutions.  For me, it means weight loss contests.  For some reason there is nothing more satisfying than publicly going from three to five chins.   I usually have to approach random people in the grocery store with, “You there, buying two gallons of ice cream,  you look like you could stand to lose a few pounds, would you have any interest in joining a weight loss contest with me, maam?”  However, not this year as two different contests  just fell into my fat lap (I’ll give you the details in a future post- I know, I know… how are you supposed to get any sleep until you have this tantalizing information???)  I don’t think I really have a shot of winning either contest, but if nothing else, they’ll give me an excuse to write.  I’m such an idiot that I was thinking to myself, “Hmmm… it would be fun to write about this… maybe I’ll have to start a blog. I could get some sort of domain that would include being fat and…oh yeah… I already HAVE one!”  And just like that http://www.blogbyfattom.com has new life.

Advertisement